The Unlikely Christian Phrase

There will be a special part of Hell set aside fir those guys....
In all the destruction we have seen this week I think I am even more disheartened at the actions of people in the affected areas. Yesterday a service sector of Tuscaloosa released an emergency notification for all females in Tuscaloosa. Apparently there is a gang that is using small children to pretend like they can't find their families. When you comfort the child they give you an address then while you try to return the child the members rape you. I know this is very Urban Legendish but the fact that in all that has occurred the city took time to release a statement I really hope it isn't true

Cry Out to Jesus

Let me start by saving that we serve a Risen Savior and I know we are not in this alone. 
Secondly, I apologize in advance for the brutalness of this post.  Many pictures of the damage will be shown. 

I am beyond devastated at what happened. 
My hometown and entire county was hit twice.
In between those storms the city I have called home for the past 3 years was completely ripped apart. 
In the plain states you see large, powerful tornadoes, and if you live in the South you are accustomed to having frequent tornadoes.  But the power, size, and number of tornadoes we experienced Wednesday is absolutely unheard of.  The first round of storms in my hometown knocked out power and cell service for many.  Everyone was reporting structural damage and such which is expected.  What isn't expected is a 2nd round with a tornado over a mile wide.  A majority of the folks at home were without power and not aware that the 2nd round was coming.  That's what got everyone in trouble.  It ran right down the center of our county hitting every city along the way.
I have seen reports from so many that I know, that have lost everything I don't even know where to begin to help.  So many are still missing and since there is little cell service it is hard to contact anyone.  The damage is so widespread that volunteers are pouring in from all over the United States to search for survivors and help provide housing assistance. 
And here is where the guilt sets in. I'M NOT THERE TO HELP
Scotty got a job in South Carolina, since we are getting married in December, I was hoping to find a job in S.C. 
My last day of classes was Friday so my parents helped pack me up and move me on up here so I could job hunt.  I have gotten PLENTY of nasty comments regarding us living in sin.  We are not actually living together as of yet. I am staying here 10 days then going home for the rest of the summer, yet I keep getting snide remarks from everyone.  Especially when everyone was calling to check on me and I had to reveal that I am not in Tuscaloosa, nor am I at home.  I am here perfectly safe. 

 This is the school one street over from my apartment building.  An Elementary School, that had been dismissed already.

 This is at my apartments, this would be from my front door looking towards 25th Ave. Words cannot even express how I feel about this. I was there 5 days ago.

This is my next door neighboor standing in the parking lot.  The two cars belong to the people who lived below me. 

Another shot from my parking lot, this girl lived on the other side of me. I am in complete disbelief. This part of town is horrible, It is close to many housing projects. At last count there were still over 100+ people missing in the area.  Many of them were relatives or students I worked with just 5 days ago. My heart is so heavy.  Those kids drove me crazy but what I wouldn't give to be there to hug and comfort them now.

This is the 15th street/ McFarland portion of town, many college students lost their lives, including three friends from back home.

 An Aeriel view from Hardees on 15th looking over Midtown Village shopping Center

 This is the McDonalds on 15th Street.

I cannot image being there, but at the same time my heart breaks because I am not.
Pray, Pray, Pray

Why Baby, Cry Baby

Wow My time in T-town is drawing to a close. 
This time next week I will be with Scotty in our apartment in an entirely different state.
I have watched my friends cry at the end (or smack in the middle ) of every class this week.
I have not been feeling it. AT ALL.
Pure joy and impatience have been my only two emotions.
Until yesterday. 
Yesterday was A-Day. 4 years ago Scotty was at A-Day without me and we met that night.
Yesterday I was at A-Day without him, walking into Bryant Denny Stadium for the last time as a college student.
Thank goodness I was surrounded by 100,000+ people or I would have been SOBBING.
I love Football
I love Alabama Football
Win or Lose. Good Season or Bad. 
Seeing the White Pants and the Crimson Stripe.  Those simple helmets that haven't changed in my lifetime. 
I think that's what I love so much its the constant in my life. 
I know from September til Thanksgiving each Saturday is reserved for the Crimson Tide. 
I will watch the pre game video and yell BOOM with all my might.
I will sing the modified version of Dixieland Delight and watch parents cringe.
All kickoffs will always start with "Rooooolllll Tiiiiiiiddddeeee Roll!"
I know I will always hear "At some places they play football at Alabama We LIVE it."

There is will always be a little girl with a head full of curls seeing Big Al and the Cheerleaders for the first time.

My favorite Swoon-Worthy players will always come back to see me. :)

Greg McElroy you made Smart Read Heads attractive, And Preston Dial ...... Oh Jeans have never looked better.! I have more photos of Preston Dial than all other players together. 

One of God's most beautiful specimens. Going to Miss that Boy. Cried in Orlando when he left the field So I sure was surprised to see him come back.
All of this is what I am having a hard time leaving.
I know we will be back for games in the future, but I have not missed a home game in 3 years.  I have only witnessed Alabama lose 1 game. EVER.  Am I the lucky charm? Most likely not but I like to think so. 
I am going to miss the loud night games, the perfect weather of early games, ESPN on the stadium plaza, the official red/white shakers, Big Al's antics, the smell of Dreamland BBQ wafting through the air.  Seeing dads explain the game to their sons and moms showing their daughters how to walk up the bleachers in heels. 
Tuscaloosa is Disneyworld to me.  I am so ready to move on.  I am tired of being here alone, but I will miss Saturdays. I will ALWAYS miss gameday Saturdays.  I suppose it is a part of life. One that I am struggling to let go of. 
Alabama Football has been the unchanging part of this crazy life and I suppose it will never change.  Its time to let go and move on.  So Long
Yea, Alabama! Drown 'em Tide!
Every 'Bama man's behind you,
Hit your stride.
Go teach the Bulldogs to behave,
Send the Yellow Jackets to a watery grave.
And if a man starts to weaken,
That's his shame!
For Bama's pluck and grit have
Writ her name in Crimson flame.
Fight on, fight on, fight on men!
Remember the Rose Bowl, we'll win then.
Roll on to victory,
Hit your stride,
You're Dixie's football pride,
Crimson Tide, Roll Tide, Roll Tide!

Transition Time

I have heard other people talk about Army Wives for a while now but I have never watched it until NOW.  Thanks to Netflix and my allergies I have been spending more time inside this past week.  So far I have finished the first two seasons and have gotten a good start on the 3rd.  This is like a good book that I never want to finish. I. AM. HOOKED.
Life has been a bit crazy with finishing up student teaching, and getting ready to move.  Most of all I am lonely beyond belief.  I have so much to do and to be honest I have become anti social AGAIN.  I only have two weeks left with all these people and I need to ease myself out.  I am not good with changes minor or major.  Mostly right now I just miss Scotty. It has been a month today since the last time I saw him.  I don't like it at all.  I've come to realize that maybe that's why I am looking so forward to moving in with him.  We have been together for 4 years, 3 of those we have spent apart. It is difficult when we a both used to living alone for the most part.  We have our own lives, schedules, and way of doing things. Then every 3 weeks or so we have to make these 2 separate lives mesh into one for 3 days then its back to our separate ways again. 
Its Frustrating
Yes I know that living together and getting married is joining two separate lives but its different.  Once we are together WE will have a life, WE will have a routine, WE will have a way of doing things.  I know there is no fairy tale and it will not be perfect but it will be much better than what we have now.
Plus, we will be together :)
Although I will be back and forth between the new-home and home-home, I still think our decision for me to move in now is the best. I need this transiition time to get adjusted to a new city, new region, Scotty having a full time job, and no longer being an overwhelmed college student. cannot wait to be there to finally be able to relax for the first time in ages see my Scotty. :)

Warning: Contents under preasure and will explode in 3, 2, 1......

Moving
Graduating
Student teaching
Job Searching

Apartment Subleasing
Planning a Wedding
Planning a Wedding that will be held 8 hours away
Moving in together(secretly of course because it is SUCH a no-no)
Too many bills/ No income
Creating a schedule of when to be in which state
Packing an entire apartment of a hoarder ALONE
Pending dental work for someone who is terrified.
Scheduling bridal showers when I have NO IDEA where I will be or what my schedule will be.

All of these are stressful on their own.
I am doing all of these Simultaneously.
No one else seems to think this should cause any problems and do not see what the big deal is.
HELLO I am completely Type A, need things planned out, I need plans, calendars, all that. 
I NEED to know what is going on or at least a resemblance of some organization.

Moving, Packing

I hate moving, I have to pack up everything, hope I don't lose anything and it takes FOREVER.  The way this move works out it is drawn out over a month's time which is even more aggravating. I have boxes EVERYWHERE.  I don't know where anything is. I do not have anywhere to put all these boxes. I am spending twice as much time packing because I have to decide if its something I will need in the next 3 weeks or not. I am moving 8 hours away so it involves some planning, parents, and a UHAUL.  Did I mention I live on the 2nd Floor with VERY steep steps.  I am moving to the 3rd floor with no elevator.  One of my movers has severe physical disabilities so everything has to go in small boxes like 20 lbs or less.  I am going to end up have 200 boxes and it is going to take 2 days to carry it all down the stairs not to mention how long to unload. UHHHH!!

Student Teaching AGAIN, Graduation, and Job Searching.

So yeah I am student teaching for the SECOND time. The only difference is I loved it the first time around. I do still enjoy my students and my placement but I am in a mentally exhausting setting that we cannot change.  Its frustrating. I am a go-getter I like to change things for the better and right now I am stuck with my hands tied and I hate it.  We have gotten to a point where only 2 real assignments are left and we are pretty much sitting there all day with nothing to do.  We cannot teach the students because they are doing test prep.  we cannot work on our assignments because its against policy.  We're stuck just being there in the way for most of the day.  Its bothersome to all the teachers we have to annoy as well as us.  we have now found out that our placement has been extended by 2 weeks, but we are only there from 8-12.  We are not to teach only observe.  This sounds fantastic, but out students are in reading block from 8-10, so if we are not teaching, we have nothing to observe.  Then they go to P.E at 11. So really we have 1 hour to observe when we could be using our time for something much more useful. I am searching for a job and hello the economy sucks! I have no connections in the place I will be moving, at home it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy.  Receiving certification is already paper work paper work paperwork, but now I am having to do two sets of paperwork, one for AL and one for SC.  Not only that but this week I am required to attend an interview day where different school districts (a majority of which are from AL) interview us.  Most hire from these interviews.  Hello no schools within 50 miles of me will be there, yet I am still required to wear my suit, go and interview with 5 schools systems.  I feel like I am wasting there time and taking away from someone who may actually want a job there, WHATEVER.

Apartment Subleasing.Bills. No Income

So I could technically stay in T-town until the end of July, keep my apartment, and all that Jazz but I would be here alone with no job and nothing to do all day.  So I have decided to try to sublease the apartment out for the summer.  I want to get moved, and see family and all that.  But it is so hard and I may still end up paying some summer rent, its crazy.  If I don't find someone to sublease it will be $1200 in rent when I don't even want to be here. Which leads to the fact that I have NO MONEY, None, Zilch.That's another reason I cannot stay in my apartment unless I get a job and spend my first summer not in school working.  I have been in school for 18 years, I NEED A BREAK before the real world.  

Wedding

I break down crying at this word.  You should enjoy planning your wedding.  I cringe at the thought. I cannot make decisions, and when others bring it up I quickly remind them that it is still over 8 months away.  I can plan all day long but nothing can be set in stone because there is no MONEY! I am a complete idiot for quitting my job. I didn't work much, and I made minimum wage but I could have taken on more hours and maybe I could have gotten some wedding stuff done by now instead of being the worthless bride who could careless.  everyone says we would regret eloping But I say our wallets would never regret it.  I am sick of it.  This long engagement was necessary and we definitely could not afford to have a wedding right after graduation but I really wish we could have just cut back to a budget wedding and gotten it over with in June or July.  I am really hating the W word right now. 

Moving in Together Or LIVING IN SIN!

Okay we will be moving in together on our 4 year anniversary I really don't think anyone could question our commitment.  But still we opted to get a two bedroom apartment and live "separately" for 6 months. I get that we are doing it out of respect but lying isn't really respectful either is it? I just hate that I have to go there set up a bedroom and bathroom the way I like it all pretty where stuff matches, pictures have frames, and football schedules do not define decor, then 6 months later move into the man cave. Who knows we may continue to have separate rooms if decorating becomes THAT much of a problem.  

And Lastly ....

Schedules/ Showers

We are moving 8-9 hours away from home. I do not plan on making that trek often after I (hopefully)get a job.  I mean seriously if we left after S got off work it would be almost midnight when we got to AL on a Friday, then we could spend Saturday, then have to be back on the road no later than noon on Sunday.  The time differences makes it even more pain in the a-ful.  I don't know about you but the last time I checked gas is exactly on the budget for someone who has no income. :)

 I know its not PC to talk about people throwing you a shower.  BUT here's the deal. I know they are, they have mentioned it several times.  I will be in AL twice during the summer for a total of 5 weeks, I know the wedding is still 6 months away at that time but some people have suggested having showers while I am home. I think its genius, so much so that I completely designed my "At-Home" schedule around that shower.  Now its canceled because us Southern "Ladies" don't think its rightly-proper to have a shower so far away from the wedding.  I get that BUT I also see that sometimes there are these things called exceptions.  Like when the couple lives a ridiculous distance away and have very few dates to come home.  Now it has been suggested that we have multiple showers in one day, thats cool but if we have them at 12, 2, and 4 we don't get to spend time with the people there which is the most important part to me!  I just don't think having a shower during Thanksgiving weekend is going to work either.... IRON BOWL ? ever heard of it?  Yeh...someone didn't think that one through.  Black Friday?  Ain't happening.  Sunday...oh yeah we have to be on the road so unless we have the shower before church that one is out too. :)  Labor Day weekend sounds good, Bama plays out of town, but my mom has called that day for a Backyard BBQ shower. Very cute.  $10 says someone else will try to over rule that.  My mother has not gotten to do a lot for me in this life I will be swinging mad if ANYONE tries to take away from my Mom doing something for me.  She will gladly step aside and say whatever they do will be better, But oh no My mom comes first!
So yeah I'm heated tonight. :)