Monday, January 24, 2011

Prayers of Many, Silent, Written, Aloud, Unspoken, Answered, Unanswered

There is so much going on in my little mind right now that I don't even know where to begin so forgive the incessant rambling.
Blessed Beyond Belief I always have been and I always will be.  I do not understand the love, understanding, and forgiveness that my Savior provides for me every moment of everyday.  But I am trying to embark on a journey of better understanding Him. Some how over the weekend I ran across this blog: Bring the Rain I was blown away.  There were so many things there that I needed to hear and see.  This woman does not write from a superior point of view. She writes from her heart.  When one is first exploring a deep more meaningful relationship with God it is intimidating to read eloquent writing and judgmental texts.   I for one am completely set back when I try to follow someone that has studied for years and knows all facets of the Bible effortlessly.  Angie knows God within her heart she has passion, and zeal. She has had failures but above all she knows her God is still the same God he always has been and always will be.  I am not a mother but her story inspires me beyond belief.  I  cannot even begin to understand her pain but glory comes in the morning and she shows that.  Throwing in humor and a best friend conversational like writing style completely won me over. I had to search two book stores before finding her book. I read it in one sitting and cried passionately.  I haven't felt that human in a long time.  It was beautiful.  I want what she has. An unwavering desire to please God through it all.  In the midst of all of this I have been journaling as I study my Bible and writing prayers for Scotty, me, and our future.  I life having them written in front of me so that I can go back and tie in scripture and other things into them later on.  So one prayer I have been praying everyday for years is that Scotty and I would develop a spiritual relationship that we can share with each other.  Today was a break through.  First some background information:  For Scotty's graduation I wanted to get him something meaningful rather than just spending money just to give him something.  I thought a new era in life deserved a new Bible that along with the fact that the last one he got was left in his truck and the binding melted so the books are no longer in order.  So I bought him this new Bible and I included some pictures of him and his pawpaw in the front because I did not want him walking across that stage without his biggest fan.  I had so many things inside that Bible I wanted to share with him but that is the one area in our relationship that needs more work than anything so I decided to highlight the verses that I love the most.  That was over a Month ago.  Today without warning I get a picture message from him.  It was of his Bible The message said:  "This is my favorite verse I've read it every morning since the first time I saw it.  I finally finished the last highlighted verse today! Thank you baby, sorry it took so long but there were a lot of them and I tried to read the entire chapter that they were in." This is a blessing in its self to me but the big boom from God came when I looked at what verse it was. 
1 Thessalonians 5:16-22.
This is not one we have ever discussed but it is my all time favorite. And I had openly wept and begged god to help up open up to each other.  I recited this over and over this weekend.  Low and behold He showed up and showed out.
I have been asking Scotty a specific question regarding his relationship with God for several months now. Normally he gets agitated at me and changes the subject.  Today he answered me. Truthfully and openly.
Praise His Name.

On a completely different note I had to experience one of those terrible things about being part of a school today that I hoped I would never have to encounter.  Anyone who lays a hand on a child out of anger will have to deal with the wrath of God. I want everyone to pray for the situation, it devastated me but children are resilient.  I can only provide support and pray pray pray for the child(ren) involved. 



( )

No real title. Inspired by Bcrump I have started writing down prayers for my husband. I wish I had started this long ago before I knew who my husband is going to be but it is still inspiring all the same. I plan on sharing a few with him now but this will be part of his wedding gift also. I feel that praying together and truly worshipping God together is the most intimate and vital part of a relationship. We came from families where spirituality is more of a private relationship type thing rather than a family shared one. I hope to change that within our family as it begins. I feel like my prayers become more permenant as I write and say them simultaneously. I hope in the near future this will become us praying aloud together.
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Sunday, January 23, 2011

I Miss My Fraaannn

Well this week has been hectic in a good way for once.  I have really been working on having a better outlook on life and I can really see a change.  I spent the evening in therapy ( the book store ) tonight.  I finished getting things together for my first package of goodies to send to S. Africa. Yay!


1. 50 Days That Are Worse Than Yours. 
2. A Sappy Crappy Card
3. A Bridesmaid Guide.
4. Useless Knowledge
5. Bless His Heart: A Guide to Loving a Southern Man
6. Hello A Giraffe Journal
7. A Mix "tape"
8. Cookies
9. and a lovely comic strip she made for me that I have never seen but found laying in my apartment.

Other goodies are:
Handsanitizer
A whole collection of Coconut Lime Verbena
Cutesy Pins
Notecards
and Random Quotes that I would share if she was here.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Dialect Vlog

So many of my blog friends have been doing a dialect vlog just to have a face and a voice to go with what they read everyday so here is mine: 

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wrappin it up

December 31 – Core Story What central story is at the core of you, and how do you share it with the world? (Bonus: Consider your reflections from this month. Look through them to discover a thread you may not have noticed until today.) (Author: Molly O’Neill)
How I came into being myself. Every person is a complex combination of thier environment but until this year I did not see this in myself.

December 30 – Gift Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year? (Author: Holly Root)  
My parents gave me a red wagon for Christmas.  I was so surprised, it was something I wanted for my classroom next year. I also received several heirlooms of my grandparents that I did not get to spend time with.  One of those was a framed copy of their marriage certificate and I love it so.
December 29 – Defining Moment Describe a defining moment or series of events that has affected your life this year. (Author: Kathryn Fitzmaurice)
1. Rededicating my life.
2. Saying Yes to Scotty
3. Getting honest with my parents 

December 28 – Achieve What’s the thing you most want to achieve next year? How do you imagine you’ll feel when you get it? Free? Happy? Complete? Blissful? Write that feeling down. Then, brainstorm 10 things you can do, or 10 new thoughts you can think, in order to experience that feeling today.
1.Graduating College with Honors.  I will be beside myself.  I will be the first person in my immediate family to finish college much less from a prestigious University with honors.
2. Marrying the Man of my dreams will be the moment in my life that I have waited on for so long.
December 27 – Ordinary Joy Our most profound joy is often experienced during ordinary moments. What was one of your most joyful ordinary moments this year? (Author: Brené Brown)
I returned to visit my classroom.  I was greeted by a child whom I had become quite close to.  He was so excited that he couldn't even hug me.  He just kept repeating my name and jumping up and down with his infectious smile shining.  Absolute Joy!
December 26 – Soul Food What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul? (Author: Elise Marie Collins) 
I haven't really eaten anything that fantastic this year :(  
 
December 25 – Photo – a present to yourself Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where
This is me surrounded by my students on our last day togehter. I am notorious for funny faces so we felt it appropriate that we all display our best ones.  Each one of these angelic faces will forever hold a HUGE place in my heart.  I will always treasure this picture.
December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)
NYE as Scotty and I were watching the midnight fireworks show at Disneyworld all the world felt right.  There was nothing in the world that could have been better. I know that is what my future holds.  After all that has happened this year, that moment let me know its All OK.
 
December 23 – New Name Let’s meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why? (Author: Becca Wilcott)
Paige Brown :) I need to get used to saying it.
December 22 – Travel How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year? (Author: Tara Hunt)
2010 started and ended with travel.  Travelling with the Tide that is.
Pasadena, CA for the National Championship game in January and I feel like I was on a significant trip atleast once a month right up to a trip to Orlando to see the Tide play New Years 2011.
 
December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)
Kids are everywhere, Husband is in the mancave, bills are piling up, but we are praising God for every moment of it. True Paradise.
Dear 12 YR Old Me,
 You are going to grow up to be a competent person although many people doubt you.  You will find love no matter how much you hide from it.  Children in your classroom will help give you your childhood back. A little girl that is the spitting image of you will become the apple of your eye.  Set your goals high, what you accomplish will astonish everyone.

December 20 – Beyond Avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?) (Author: Jake Nickell) South Africa trip. Once in a lifetime experience and I didn't take it.

December 19 – Healing. What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011? (Author: Leonie Allan)
I finally came to terms with my parental relationship.  Seeing dysfunctionality in others really helped but mostly I came to accept that this is the hand that I have been dealt and granted it is far from ideal it is still far from terrible.

December 18 – Try. What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did / didn’t go for it? (Author: Kaileen Elise)
I want to try to give everything I do atleast 95%. I want to shoot for 101% but 95 is a good start.

December 17 – Lesson Learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? (Author: Tara Weaver)
Life Goes On. It is cliche but honestly I live everyday like the world is going to end if I do not worry every second, Guess what? It doesn't.

December 16 – Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)
Oh Wow big revolation this year.  I became part of a new group of friends and for the first time in my life completely opened up.  I have had the same best friend for 17 years, but our relationship is nothing in comparison to the new ones. (that is something I want to change)  There is nothing superficial about my new friendships, every bit of it is genuine.

December 15 – 5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)
Not Gonna Do IT. TOO much this year.
 
December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)
My HIT. I now see all he does for us, me, and so many others. I have looked over it and taken it for granted for so long but this year I really began to see how important what he does is in my life.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Hmmm. Maybe I should have followed the rules.

It would probably be much easier if I did one each day.  Possibly that is why it is set up to be done that way.


December 9 – Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)
Most likely the Engagement Party thrown for Scotty and I.  We were able to spend time with our favorite people from all ares of our lives.

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? (Author: Susannah Conway)
1. Rededicating my Life.  I had fallen astray but I am now working daily to get to the place I need to be.
2. Saying Yes to the man of my dreams.

December 11 – 11 Things. What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)
1. Negativity
2. Procrastination
3. Junk Food
4. Excessive Debt
5. Junk that I have accumulated that needs to be done away with
6. Friendships that only bring me down.
7. Insecurity
8. Bama's Fleas.
9. University of Auburn :)
10. Red Tape for getting children into SPED when they really need it.
11. Carbonated beverages.

December 12 – Body Integration. This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)
This has only happened once in my life and it was not this year.  It is a goal however.

December 13 – Action. When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky
I no longer set lofty goals, now they are realistic.  Each goal has benchmarks so maybe I will knock them out.

Part Duex

December 6- The Make
December 6 – Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it? (Author: Gretchen Rubin)

Unless making a mess counts, I haven't made anything in the recent past.  During 2011 I would like to DIY wedding invitations, favors and lots of decor.

December 7: Community
December 7 – Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? (Author: Cali Harris)

A close knit group of girl friends was a community I discovered and embraced this past year.  I have never been one to fully immerse myself into my friendships but now that I have begun I don't see how I lived without these girls.  They are my support system, my prayer circle, my eternal source of laughter and a constant in this ever changing life.

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful. (Author: Karen Walrond)

Hands down my ability to make light of any situation.  At times I take it a bit far but I can always bring a smile or a laugh.  Pep talks and morale boosters are my jive.



December 9 – Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans. (Author: Shauna Reid)

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Better Late than Next Year.

<a href=”http://www.reverb10.com” target=”_blank”> <img src=”http://www.reverb10.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/reverb10new-year.png” /></a>

Okay so this challenge was to be started on December 1 and completed December 31 well...... I forgot. Just plain ol forgot. So now I am doing what I do best. Playing Catch up.


DECEMBER 1- ONE WORD
December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you? (Author: Gwen Bell)

Redeeming.  In 2010 I have struggled in every facet of my life.  I have felt hopeless spiritually and rediscovered my faith.  I have given up and shut down mentally only to uncover a fresh perspective.  I fell in love with my HIT all over again and unveiled what I love about him most.

DECEMBER 2- WRITING
December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it? (Author: Leo Babauta)

Literally every part of my life is void of a contribution to my writing.

DECEMBER 3- MOMENT
December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards) 

Until New Years Eve I could have said with confidence that it was the 4th of July when my HIT purposed, BUT New Year's Eve brought my back to life.  I was experiencing my first visit to Disneyworld.  We had been there for 14 hours on very little sleep.  As we were getting ready for the fireworks show the artificial snow began to fall and HIT and I held each other as we realized that was the last time we would spend NYE as an engaged couple.  The year of our wedding was finally here.  Everyone else (all 150,000 of them) faded away and I honestly felt as if I just melted into him and we were completely one again.  It is a feeling I have been missing for so long.  The euphoria from that moment is still carrying me on even though we are apart.  I hope to have that feeling and that depth of love every time I look at him for the rest of my life.  I was created to love, that was God's purpose for me. I have never felt more fulfilled than in that moment staring my future dead in the eye and embracing it.


DECEMBER 4- WONDER
December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year? (Author: Jeffrey Davis) 
I have spent the greater part of 2010 in the presence of true life angels.  I also like to call those angels my students.  As I work with each group I always try to see the world through there eyes.  First grade was one of the biggest blessings I received.  Their sense of wonder transferred into my life.  I began looking at life with the innocence of a child.  If you want to experience your life the way it was intended that is the way to go.  Back to the thoughts from before your mind was jaded. Its blissful.

DECEMBER 5- LET GO
December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why? (Author: Alice Bradley)  
Of expectations. I have spent the past 21.5 years trying to please others and be perfect for them. Now it is about me.  In another sense I have Let Go in general.  after watching Black Swan  I really gave thought to the idea of loosening up and not taking every day so seriously.  I only have one life why not enjoy it rather than sitting back worrying about it?  LET GO that is a goal for 2011.

 

It's Going to be a Doozie!

20 Questions for a New Year’s Eve Reflection

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
      Getting engaged to the man of my dreams, the love of my life, the man God has chosen for me.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
      Finishing the most difficult year of college amidst all the personal challenges I was facing. 
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
       Lexie and the way she can always light up my day.
4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
       My parents and deciding on future plans with our conflicting schedules.
5. Pick three words to describe 2010.
       Stressful, Rushed, Redeeming
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2010 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).
      Stressful, Anxious, Blessed.
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2010 (again, without asking).
     Relief, speed, academics
8. What were the best books you read this year?
     Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
     Radical by David Platt
     House Rules by Jodi Picoult
  
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
     Bethany, Erica, and Ashley
10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
      Learning to be okay with myself and not always trying to please others.
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
       I know feel more comfortable showing my emotions.
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
       I am now embracing my spirituality and trying to grow in my relationship with God everyday.
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
       Um HELLO I have gained 20+ lbs.
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
       I now understand what others were talking about when they have said that the friendships you make in  
       college supersede any other friendships from the past. 
15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
        Working with all the children I have in the various settings in the past year.  I have been with 7 different
        classes so that is a lot of children.
16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
       Being confident in my abilities to teach all these children.
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
        Facebook and napping.
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
        Quality girl time that involved paintbrushes and lots of laughing.  Also visiting with my uncle.
19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
        Nothing in this world lasts forever, embrace it all. 
        Life goes on.
        I cannot sit around waiting on life I have to go out, let go, and make things happen.
        Happiness is not determined by circumstance, but rather by confidence.
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2010 for you.
      Happiness is not determined by circumstance, but rather by confidence.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The inevitable.

I have been avoiding posting, not really sure why but I assume that it is because I have set many somewhat lofty goals for myself and by writing on my blog I have kicked off my goal-getting. 
First of all I have created a 101 in 1001 list.  There is a tab at the top. I really hope to actually try and complete these. They are all completely attainable. 

Project Kill Grimme begins in the morning.  Grimme is the nickname my group of friends have given my ever growing gut that I have grown to hate.  I am getting married in less than a year. I want to look fabulous and actually feel pretty for the first time in my life.  Project Kill Grimme is the first step of the process.

I begin my final semester of school in the morning and I am nervous as always.  This is it the real world is next.
I really want to stay on top of things this semester and not let myself get overwhelmed with it all.

By the end of the week I will have a 2010 wrap up and a comprehensive list of whats to come!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Many updates to come

I have had a whirlwind month. All catching up will happen soon!
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